Sticks and Dutches aka the DivaSquad
by aster66
Summary: What happens when Shannon and Niamh are out of sunblock? Looks like someone has to go to Sawyer and beg for more. POV Niamh. Please R&R.
1. The flying bottle of sunblock

**Title:** Sticks and Dutches aka the Diva-Squad

**Author:** **Rating:** T just to be safe  
**Category:** humor/general (may add a little romance in the future)  
**Summary:** What happens when Shannon (aka sticks) and Niamh (aka dutches) are out of sunblock? Looks like someone has to go to Sawyer and beg for more. POV Niamh. Please R&R.  
**Disclaimer:** Unfortnatly I don't own Lost.

This is my very first fanfic so bare with me. I thought it would be nice to give Shannon a friend on the island, so I thought up Niamh. She's sort of the brunette version of Shannon.

* * *

Blah, yet another day of boredom on this godforsaken island. Shannon and I decided to go sunbathing (again) today. What else could we do around here? Ok we could help Kate with whatever she does all day but we decided our tan was more important than helping her.

"Hmmm... I wonder when Kate is going to scold us again for not doing anything productive around here", I said while I turned over to lay on my back.

"That can't be long, yesterday she found us after 10 minutes", Shannon replied who was laying next to me.

I liked Shannon. We quickly became friends after i saw her on the beach giving herself a pedicure and decided that i could use one too, i mean i just survived a plane crash i could use a little relaxation. So I sat down next to her and we soon started talking about how nice it would be if this happened to be some sort of exclusive spa resort island. Which, unfortunately for us, wasn't the case.

It was nice having a friend on this island especially since almost nobody talked to me or Shannon. It seemed that doing nothing wasn't the key to popularity here. The only one who seemed to be interested in us was Boone but unfortunately for him we were not interested in him. So we decided to scare him off by sharing creepy girl stories involving Tampax and trips to the gynecologist. It worked like a charm, he left half-way Shannon's story about how she almost poked her gynecologists eye out with one of her Manolo Blahniks during an examination.

We found out we shared a lot the same interests, for instance, we both liked sunbathing, taking care of our appearance, shoes, men and shampoo. But i guess the biggest bonding factor was that we both disliked Kate, a lot.

"I wonder who gave her the right to take all the good looking man on this island", Shannon grumbled.

She had a major crush on Sayid, which she, desperately yet unsuccessfully, tried too hide from me.

"Yea, i know what you mean, she has Jack, Sayid and Sawyer all drooling over her. All we have left is you're, good-looking yet obsessive steph-brother, the sadistic Asian guy, the knife-fetishist, the former rock-god aka the junk, the frustrated father and the big, funny guy", I said while i reached for the bottle of sunblock.

"Oh, CRAP!", I yelled, while I desperatly tried to get some someblock out of the damn bottle by maniacally sqeezing the life out it.

"What?" Shannon asked.

"We used up all our sunblock", I sighed throwing the empty bottle over my shoulder not caring where it would land.

"Oh great, well get some new, it's your turn to go to Sawyer and b...

"OUCH!", someone yelled from behind us, interupting Shannon.

Shannon and I turned, to see a very angry Kate coming towards us.

Aperently the bottle had hit Kate on her forehead.

Shannon and I couldn't help ourselves and started to laugh like a bunch of maniacs.

"Hahaha, you hit her!" Shannon laughed.

"I know! Hahhaha"

"Do you two think THIS is funny!" Kate yelled angrily, pointing to a red spot on her forehead where the bottle of sunblock had landed a couple of seconds earlier.

"Cause it's NOT! When are two you gonna do something around here besides sunbathing and throwing bottle's of sunblock at people? Well!"

We couldn't stop laughing, the look on Kate's face was just too hilarious.

"You know what, why don't you two DIVA'S go to hell!" Kate shouted. She turned around and stormed off.

"Hahaha that was so funny, we should definetly save that bottle so we can have some more fun with it later", Shannon suggested.

"Hehe good idea, maybe we can assault Boone with it tonight." I said while I grinned evily.

"Too bad we'll be al red and sunburned by then."

"I so do not want to get a sunburn, I have sunbathed my ass of to get myself a perfect tan."

"Well get some new then, it's your turn to go to Sawyer and beg." she said while she grinned at me.

"Is it really my turn?" I asked, praying she was wrong.

"Yup it is, last time i got us a couple of razor blades remember?"

"Crap, i forgot about those, i guess I'll have to go then." I said while i got up and reached for my skirt."

I quickly put on my skirt and tank top and started walking towards Sawyers tent.

'Oh and while you're at it, see if you can get some Tampax out of him!", Shannon yelled after me.

Great just what I needed now i had to get Tampax out of him, mission impossible. I was so not gonna mention the word Tampax around him. That was like asking for a sarcastic pms comment. I was just gonna stick to the sunblock, that was already hard enough.

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**If you guys like it i'll ad some more chapters, so note me if you like it!**


	2. Sawyer's shop of horrors

**Second chapter Yeej! I hope i managed to keep Sawyer in character. Anyway Niamh is off to sawyer's shop of horrors, read what happens. Enjoy!**

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Ok Niamh now focus, sunblock, I need sunblock. "I NEED SUNBLOCK, " I said to myself out loud. See that wasn't too hard, you can do that, I said, a desperate attempt to reassure myself. Why did I have a crush on him, why! 

"I need sunblock, I need sunblock," I kept repeating to myself while i neared sawyer's tent.

Oh god there he was, that shirt looked so sexy on him (drool). No Niahm focus, focus! But he looks so cute (sigh). Oh god he's taking of his shirt, he looks even better without that shirt, don't faint, focus. Sunblock, I NEED SUNBLOCK.

"Well, well, if it ain't Dutchie from the Diva-Squad." Sawyer said while he grabbed another shirt and started to put it on.

Damn why did he have another shirt, curse that shirt!

Note to self: steal all Sawyer's shirts, no wait, Steal and Burn all ofSawyer's shirts, so he has to walk around half naked the rest of our Island time.

"What do we need from Sawyer's shop today?" he said, his cocky grin started to surface.

Oh he's even more sexy when he has that stupid grin on his face...(sigh)

"Well...?"he asked raising one eyebrow.

Niamh stop drooling, come on snap out of it! Crap i needed something, but what? shit I forgot! Think Niamh! Think!

"Are you ok? You know laying in the sun all day long probably isn't th...

Sun? Sunblock! That was it!

"I NEED SUNBLOCK!", I shouted interrupting him.

Ha I remembered! I wasn't as stupid as i thought I was.

"Now there's no need to shout at me, Dutchie. My hearing is just fine."

"I, I'm sorry", I stammered.

"I would like some sunblock, please, oh and some tampons" I said while I tried to give him my puppy eyes, hoping he would give the sunblock and the tampons to me for free.

"Tampons?" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, tampons." I said looking down in embarrassment.

"Ah now I get why you assaulted Kate this morning, we're havin a little pms havn't we?" He said grinning at me.

"I didn't assault Kate! And I'm not having my period either!" I yelled.

"Well it looked like it was you throwing that bottle at her."

"No it wasn't! Ok maybe it was me but I didn't do it on purpose!"

"Ok ok, Whatever suits you, Dutches. So you want Sunblock and... tampons?" he asked.

"yes" I replied

"Do we have a tampon brand that we prefer?" he asked smirking.

"I don't know, there not for me, there for Shannon."

"Hmm... let's ask her, shall we?" he said with a very evil grin across his face.

No! he wasn't gonna do what i thought he was, was he?

"YO, STICKS!" He yelled.

Oh god he was.

Shannon, who was still sunbathingabout 40 yards away from us, looked up.

"D'YOU HAVE A BRAND OF TAMPONS YOU PREFER !" he yelled, this time even louder so that everybody on the beach could hear it while he held up two boxes of tampons, in his right hand a box of Tampax, in his left a box of Kotex.

I could see Shannon nearly getting an asthma attack out shock and embarrassment. She quickly pointed to the hand that was holding the box of Tampax before she dug her head out of embarrasment in her towel.

"Looks like sticks prefers Tampax" he said looking at the box of Tampax.

"No let's see if i have any sunblock left," he said while he bended over to search through one of his bags.

Oh god even his butt is perfect.

"Yup, looks like I have one", he said while he got up and pulled a bottle of sunblock outta his bag.

"Thank you so much", I said reaching forward to the bottle of sunblock.

Just when I wanted to take it he pulled it backwards.

"Now you didn't think I was gonna give it to you for free, did you Dutchie?"

Crap, I didn't have anything to trade with him. Well actually I did but i was so not gonna give him my prada bag nor my Fendi sunglasses. Hmm... I could steal Shannon's Manolo Blahnik's though. Nah they're uselles unless Sawyer has a size 5 and has a secret love for walking around in women's shoes.

"A girl can dream right?" I said puppy eying him some more.

"You should've known by now that nothing comes without a price here at Sawyer's"

Damn my puppy eyes weren't affecting him.

"Can't you give me some sort of discount?"

"Sorry peaches but I ain't running no discount store" he said

"Name your price then" I sighed.

"Hmmm... what do I want? What do I want?

A kiss oughta do it." He said looking at me.

Ah there is a god and he loves me! Sawyers gonna kiss me, tehee! (melt) No wait don't let the gooey feeling take over. Play hard to get.

"Oh please, you don't think I'm gonna kiss you, do you?" I said hoping he did.

Oh god lemme make out with him.

"Oh but that's not what I'm asking of you Dutches." He said smirking.

NOOOOO! Why! But I want too!

"You didn't lemme finish. I want you and Sticks to kiss." he said looking dead serious.

"Wait...I didn't quite get that."

"Ok I'll explain, I, sawyer, want to see you, Dutches, and Sticks, kiss. And I don't mean no kiss on the cheek, I mean a french kiss." he said still looking serious.

I was stunned, I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't find the words.

"..."

"Eeeew!",I finally managed to get out.

"You pervert!"

"Hey, don't judge me for saying every mans fantasy out loud."

"You pervert!", I yelled again.

"Does that mean the deal is off?" he asked.

"You know what Sawyer, why don't you shove that box of Tampax and that bottle of sunblock somewhere the sun doesn't shine!" I yelled and stormed of.

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I hope you liked my new chapter. Thanksyou lostgirl and sugr4sawyr for reviewing! 


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